As a representative of one of Penn’s smallest minorities, I want to dedicate this article to the racism facing Norwegian students on campus. This might seem like a minor issue, but the Norwegian community at Penn has been ignored and suppressed for too long. I find that it is time to speak out. To pretend that I am intelligent, I have decided to organise my arguments into a series of points, which I hope to count at the end of my article.

In a meeting I had with President Rodin the other day, I asked why the Indian and Chinese population are considered minority communities, while Norwegians are not. Explaining that there are 250 Chinese to every Norwegian citizen on this planet, and probably as many Indians, I asked her why Norwegians are not considered a minority in this perspective. You can count the number of Norwegians at Penn on a hand with amputated fingers, so our minority status should seem clear as far as numbers go. Yet, when considering the cultural activities arranged for Norwegian students on campus, Penn’s cultural discrimination really speaks for itself.

I recently suggested to Rodin that Penn should arrange an annual "Nordic Pride"-festival, which would allow us to celebrate traditional celebrations, as for instance, the Norwegian New Year. Perhaps not surprisingly, my proposal was not met by much enthusiasm, and discriminatory policies of this kind must take the blame for the fact that very few Penn students know that Norway recently entered the year of the Albino Whale. When recently discussing this subject with my girlfriend, who happens to be a sophomore at West Philly High, she argued that "Norwegians don’t constitute no minority as you’re all white." I found this argument very easy to dispute. When asking her if she could tell the difference between Norwegians and Italians, she admitted that she did not find that to be very difficult, and that her Italian boyfriend not only is better-looking than I am; he also has much more chest hair.

When asking my girlfriend if she could tell the difference between Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese and Korean students, she admitted that she could not. When asking if she could tell the difference between Indian, Bengali and Pakistani students, she admitted to find that very difficult to do as well. This finally proved to me that Norwegians have been deprived of our minority status for too long, and that we now want our unique culture and heritage to be recognised. We have, along with Sweden, the prettiest girls in Europe, one of the world’s highest ratios of mental depression, and also a proud tradition of sailing by Viking ships to Scotland and Ireland to rape nuns, monks and all kinds of domestic animals. The Norwegian Liberation Movement is here to stay, at least until the Department of Psychology realises the major mistake it made when accepting me into Penn.

(Btw; This article had about four major arguments, and if you read the article again, I am sure it will make much more sense.)