Diary of Autumn 98'

Oct 5,

Today I think I found a solution to the Japanese bank crisis. I probably should have figured it out before, because today was not the first time I've had to wait an hour to finish my business at Sakura Bank. First of all it should not be necessary to hire two employees to greet customers as they enter the bank. It is okay to be told once in a while that one is welcome to stop by the bank, but a constant reminder is certainly not of very big importance to most customers. It would on the other hand be very positive if Sakura would consider hiring more clerks. The coach at Sakura is certainly one of the more comfortable couches around, and starring out in the empty air can be a most thrilling experience for even the bravest adventures coming to Japan. Still it might be an idea to hire more clerks so that those wishing quick service can have this option available. I think the key word for Japanese banks is efficiency, because at the moment this seems to be quite an unknown phenomenon in most Japanese banks. And who knows, perhaps even the employees greeting me at the bank would be interested in doing some real work from time to time.

Oct 6,

Every day contains surprises, but most of these are of little importance and are easily forgotten. Today's biggest surprise will probably end up in the last-mentioned category, even though it will effect my life for a year to come. "Physical Education" and "Introduction to wellness" are the courses I will have to attend every Wednesday this semester, without regard to the fact that "Physical Relaxation" was my only planned schedule on this day. This fact was revealed to me yesterday, and I look forward to this course with a very mixed sense of pleasure. It's not that I have a strong dislike for physical exercise, running after a ball for a few hours can actually be quite a satisfactory contrast to my otherwise so intellectual classes. Introduction to Wellness is what I have a problem with, and that even before the class has started. It is obvious that this course's only intent is to teach me that smoking is bad, alcohol less so, but still bad, and that one should eat breakfast every morning. Since I feel like I've had this course every year since junior high school, I feel that I'm aware of that brushing my teeth once in a while, having friends and eating is all very beneficial. Now as I've reached the age of 20, I feel that it's time to get over with the introduction, and to actually get on with life.

Oct 7,

Introduction to Wellness was just as bad as expected. It's comforting to see that it is not always wrong to rush to judgment, and that some things actually turn out as expected. In a politically correct and positive journal, this is what I would have written: "When first hearing that I would have to attend a class called "Introduction to Wellness", I was extremely disappointed and felt this would be an endless repeat of knowledge already obtained in junior high and high school. I went to the first class with such a negative attitude, and actually I considered not to go at all since I figured the teacher wouldn't take attendance. The class didn't start too well, this mostly due to the professor being late. But from the moment the lecture started, everyone seemed to be hypnotised by the professor's original and charismatic style of lecturing. Suddenly the advice not to smoke seemed new and worth considering, and at the same time I realised the true health risk of abusing alcohol. When the class ended, no one could actually believe that we had actually spent an entire 1,5 hours listening to the lecture. Now it seems like a daunting task to wait an entire week for the next class, and I hope with all my heart that it will be as rewarding as the first one. Still I think the most important lesson I learnt today was that one should always try to face what may first seem like a negative surprise with a positive attitude. It's often just when you are the most certain of your prejudgment that you will get the biggest surprises, but I think it is very important that a positive attitude is taken towards as many aspects of life as possible".

Oct 12,

Is it wrong? Every day now I hope for the Japanese economy to worsen. Over the last couple of days, the Japanese yen has risen by almost 20% to the USD. This means that I now only will get four CC-lemons for a sum of money that earlier would have bought me five. Fortunately this is not a big problem because it's extremely rare that I go to the store to buy five CC-lemons. But who knows, perhaps one day after having yet again heard the catchy CC-lemon tune, will I get a sudden urge to drink 500 lemons worth of vitamin C. Still it is not scientifically proven that drinking less CC-lemon will reduce one's life expectancy, nor will it lead to a significant loss of friends. Therefore I want to conclude by saying that the problems caused by the rising yen are highly overestimated. But then again, let's hope for a new economic downturn in Japan. After all, being able to buy five delicious CC-lemons will never hurt.

Oct 13,

High heels, who are they fooling? Everyone knows girls using high heels are almost ten centimetres lower than they appear to be. I shall agree with the fact that it looks good, but then again, one can not compare high heels to make-up. A good make-up is traditionally not meant to be seen, this excluding some East-European countries where it seems like the more the better. Japanese girls seem to be following this concept when it comes to high heels. Sometimes I feel like asking some girls if they're aware of the fact that they're walking on what seems to be two average-sized towers. It's especially sad to think of what they're doing to their backs. 30 years old girls with broken backs aren't usually that attractive. Not to think of the health hazard of using high-heeled shoes. It seems like an average of 10% fall and break something every day. My suggestion to short people is that they accept their shortness. If I and other relatively tall people should some day start bowing our backs to look short, I certainly hope to be give the same advice.

Oct 14,

I just got back to the ever so delightful dorm, this after having spent almost half the day trying to obtain a certificate of foreign residency. Actually getting the card itself was not very time-consuming. Walking to and from the office took time though, but it is all a part of my plan to get a more positive attitude towards "Instruction to Wellness". Walking is supposedly healthy, and therefore an essential step towards physical wellness. The exception though must be Tokyo. Today it seemed like every salaryman south of Hokkaido had decided to go for a drive in Chiyoda-ku. The smog had the colour of a cup of bad coffee, and was so thick that one really had to strive to walk through it. My knowledge on this area is very limited, but I really doubt that spending time inside a cloud of pollution is beneficial to one's health, this without regard to if you're running inside it or not. If one for some reason should happen to find oneself stuck in such a cloud, then I can certainly see that point of running out of it. My problem though is to understand why I should actively seek out these clouds, and even more how it could possibly bring my physical wellness. On days like this is should almost be recommended to smoke. Doing that you'll at least have some idea of what you're breathing. The next time I feel like improving my physical health, I will skip the walk and return directly to my room. There I'll at least be able to enjoy the blessings of a modern air-cleaner, this while I can admire the alien certificate which alone probably shortened my life by a few months.

Oct 15,

As a Caucasian living in Japan, I felt intimidated by a letter to the editor in yesterday's edition of Japan Times. A female gaijin married to a Japanese brought up the issue of gaijins behaving badly in Japan, and thus indirectly strengthening the Japanese prejudice of Orientals being brighter than Caucasians. Especially she thinks this shows when foreigners pretend not to understand, this to avoid trouble. I think her article makes an excellent point, this even though she might be a bit too harsh. I have myself experienced how easy it can be to play stupid, sometimes even a small lie can make wonders. Therefore I think it's important that one considers the consequences of one's actions before deciding not to act truthfully. Japan is very much based on trust, and must be heaven for potential shoplifters. Fake telephone cards are also widely available, but it's ironic that foreigners are the ones both selling and producing them. Moving to a new country is challenging, especially when the new country is Japan and different from everything one's used to. That someone takes time to repeat the challenge in Japan Times is highly appreciated.

Oct 16,

Roppongi. Just the sound of the place awakes strong associations among most Japanese living in Tokyo. First of all it's widely recognised as "abunai", this of course due to the mounting numbers of foreigners who use the ward as a big party scene almost every day. Perhaps Roppongi does not deserve to be described as dangerous, at least not on an international scale, but it can neither be considered as very safe. Still I think the saddest part of Roppongi is the many disillusioned Japanese girls who come on desperate searches for Western men. Not few men, especially American marines, have learnt how to take advantage of just that. On the other hand can it perhaps be a good thing that so many of the discos, brothels and clubs are situated in the same area. At least you then know which part of Tokyo you should avoid, or where to go if that is what you prefer.

Oct 20,

I have now finally reached a new human level, this because I've joined the hypermodern crowd of Tokyo and bought a ketai. With this new toy I can be available 24 hours a day, and that seems to me to be an extraordinary quality when living in a peaceful city like Tokyo. In seven months, when my subscription runs out, will I be able to throw my then obsolete phone away and buy whatever is new on the market. The best thing is that it is all supposed to provide me with happiness. I guess that just leaves me to sit down and wait for happiness to call.

Oct 21,

In June last year I read a newspaper article which then puzzled me, this probably because I had not yet reached the level of being able to grasp the true value of a cellular phone. The article told the story of a Finnish who, though being fairly drunk, managed to lose his phone in the sea on a ferry destined for Sweden. This may first not seem like an uncommon incident, but jumping after the phone certainly is. Even though he would have been able to find it, which is very unlikely, he probably wouldn't have been able to call for help by means of his then extremely wet device. And so he drowned, though conscious of knowing that he had done everything possible to save his phone. Cellular phones must be the solution for all childless couples. It demands constant recharging, and it starts screaming at the most awkward times of the day. Therefore it is not strange how easily you can get attached to your keitai. Still there's one enormous advantage to that of having a child; If it for some reason should fall overboard, it would still be socially acceptable not to jump after it.

Oct 28,

English education in Japanese schools certainly isn't good, but that doesn't stop it from being funny. The classes are run on the principle that actually learning something is bad. Memorising is encouraged though, and the results are highly awkward. For instance, a gaijin friend of mine came back to the dorm telling his Japanese room-mate that he felt tired. His room-mate is not able to keep up even very basic conversations, but that didn't stop him from uploading a fairly advanced phrase from his Mega-Memory. "You are feeling a sudden lack of vigour", he replied. It was in many ways a correct response, but perhaps not something to be used in normal everyday conversations. Keep up the English entertainment, Japan!

Nov 4,

I have always been impressed by Masako, the still fairly young Harvard-graduate and Japanese crown princess. Still I did not know that her mother-in-law, the Empress, is equally fascinating. I got the honour of meeting her today, and the overall impression was impressive. Even though she due to her advance age has become fairly frail, she still has a superb command of English. After what I've heard, she's also fluent in various other languages. The empress and the emperor have, after what I've learned, their own private teachers in a number of languages. Their imperial palace is supposedly surrounded by a dense and think forest, and in this small green lung of Tokyo are they contained to preserve one of the world's oldest monarchies. I am impressed.

Nov 5,

For some reason I have reason to believe there'll be some time before I'll meet the Empress again. No one has invited me to the imperial palace yet, and neither am I very optimistic. Probably I'm not privileged enough to hang out with ambassadors and royalty every day, and perhaps is that just as well. Yesterday's reception followed a speech on landmines held by the international leader of the Red Cross. The lecture wasn't very impressive, and when I knew most of what was being said, I have a suspicion that the bureaucrats did the same. Still the conference ended with some fake soul-searching, this as all the delegates tried to seem impressed by each other's speeches. Everyone agreed on everything, but I guess it can be useful to have some support when one actually goes out where people disagree with you. Yet it was a discouraging experience, and I'm sure more progress would be achieved by being less diplomatic, and rather more honest.

Nov 9,

It is actually fun to experience earthquakes. Perhaps "fun" is not the right word, but it is still the adjective being used at the dorm to describe yesterday's experience. In the words of a fellow student; "It wasn't big enough to be scary, but just enough for it to be exciting". That is the scary part about earthquakes though, one never really knows how big they are going to get. They all start up softly, but then they get angry. Luckily I have never been hurt in one, but the 94' quake of Kobe should be a reminder to us all. One day the Honshu-quake is going to hit, and then I think the guys at the dorm will be happy if they're able to say just about anything afterwards.

Nov 12,

My heated romance with my J-Phone has cooled down. It is not the same anymore, perhaps I simply managed to dial the passion away when calling one day. Perhaps I will try to liven up the relationship, buy it new equipment or spice it up in some other way. Still it might be too late, perhaps it just wasn't meant to last.

Nov 16,

Crime in Japan. I read a lot of interesting figures on Japanese crime over the week-end. First of all I was surprised to read that 60% of all child porn produced is done here in Tokyo. At the same time, Newsweek had an article on the current wave of violent crime following in the wake of the economic crisis. Armed robbery by juveniles rose by 57% last year, rapes committed by teens nearly doubled and assaults rose by 19 percent. Other figures are equally disturbing; roughly one girl in every high school class sells sex for money. And who's to blame? McDonalds of course. Blame them for the destruction of the rain forest, heart attacks and, why not, the rise of crime here in Japan. The scientific explanation is well accounted for in the Nov 16^th issue of Newsweek. I will read it once in a while to have proof for there actually being too easy solutions.

Nov 18,

Finally, tomorrow is the grand opening of our superb school festival. The disco is not before Sunday, but tomorrow we'll have an official dinner with fairly important guests. Girls will be there too, and being around them will be an abnormal even for someone used to living at a men's dorm. Becoming gay would be an easy solution, but for various reasons suspect a conversion like that might be unwelcome at a Catholic University. Also, I don't know what it would take to become gay. Perhaps being shop for 48 hours would do the trick, but I guess I'm too much in love with the opposite sex to give it a try. Instead I will try to be courteous and polite at the party tomorrow. By the way, a Japanese friend told me not to overindulge in food at the reception. Unfortunately I don't know the meaning of that many difficult words yet, so I guess I'll just try to eat a lot.

Nov 24,

Someone told me this year's disco was actually better than the one last year. That is truly sad. For all the guests coming, let us number them to about 10, the disco probably didn't seem like that much of a catastrophe. Still, for someone who had helped preparing it for almost two weeks, it was a disaster of Biblical proportions. Those who had fun did so after having drunk enormous amounts of alcohol. Among the guests, I guess the 8 who'd been dragged there by their boyfriends thought it was okay. The two guests who came looking for girls, they probably left disappointed. In one year, we will go through the same hell again. Why? I don't know, but at least it is not because anyone enjoys wasting their time doing it.

Nov 30,

I think the dorm cafeteria would benefit greatly from hiring an accountant. It seems like they spent too much money the first months of this semester, so now we're only served foods the chef has been able to find in the backyard. I'm worrying that he might soon take it out on the small colony of cats living on campus, but at least that would give us some meat. Often it is hard to figure out what we are eating, most often we can see, but not taste it. Strangely the food has got worse and worse all semester, so I'm not looking forward to January. Probably the chef will aim and throw a few potatoes at us, that will be dinner. But on a positive note, perhaps this will convince the chef that it is time he brushes up his knowledge of math.

Dec 8,

Once in the 70s, a very radical Norwegian feminist stated that: "A woman needs a man just as much as a fish needs a bicycle". The statement did perhaps not make much sense, but she certainly proved her point. Japan hasn't been through the 70's though. Perhaps they haven't missed much either, but I sometimes really wonder if they should give it a try. Even though it could act as a sexist Disneyland for foreign tourists, Japanese women should hopefully have higher goals for themselves than to be nothing but mere sex-objects with the average intelligence of an underachieving 3-year-old. Half an hour watching Japanese television commercials should make anyone reach the same conclusion, this unless they by chance should happen to know any diligent bicycling fish.

Dec 10,

Sometimes I really believe I have figured Japan out, that I have understood some of Japan's hidden secrets. Other times though, I am shocked and believe I'm never going be able to get anything. Today was such a day; Sophia University has an excellent gospel choir. When I first saw its 40 members perform live during the Sophia Festival, I was impressed by their preaching of the gospel. In fact I was so impressed I went to all of their concerts. Finally I had found some Japanese who believed in something, or at least so I thought. Today I found out that only one, 1, of the members is a Christian. The entire performance is staged, the substance to it is non-existent. It is as I should start handing out Hareh Krishna books at the airport as a circle activity, or hijack planes without being Muslim (now, that is politically incorrect!). The way religion is treated makes me sad and disillusioned, some aspects of life deserve to be treated with more respect and thoughtfulness.

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